Q&A: What can I do to become more social and away from asocial behavior?

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I am an enneagram type 9; introvert - relations oriented person. I am a communicative, quite confident, optimistic kind of person. I love people, maintain warm relationships with my wife, daughter, bretheren and other relatives and I have never been depressed. I am not anxious, do not lack energy, etc... My problem? When I attend some activity alone, where no relationships of mine are present, I will arrive alone and leave alone without haven spoken to anybody. I have been comuting for more than 25 years ... and have never spoken to a co-traveler. At the company, I have good contacts with the colleagues of my department, but none outside of this little circle. When, by some happy accident, I come to meet new people, I will forget their name, what they look like and whatever personal information they tell me almost immediately. I do not have a "social network" and dould not establish one if I wanted to. In fact, I followed all kinds of "interpersonal skills" and assertivity courses, leadership trainings, trainings to improve remembering names, etc.... but all in vain 1. Is there a name for this type of asocial behaviour? 2. what may be the cause? 3. what can I do to become more social?

- Zytha


Ron Fisher, M.D. - LocateADoc.com

First, anyone examining you would have to determine if there is a physical component to the symptoms you describe. Second, you did not say if you were ever examined by a psychiatrist or psychologist. If you had been, it would be important to know what their opinion was.
To try and diagnose someone from afar, not having met them face to face would be a poor way to treat you (or to even offer suggestions).
Obviously this is a complex problem that deserves a proper interview/examination by a reputable clinician. Take the time with a knowledgeable person and by all means realize that there is no one-shot answer. This will take time and effort (which I can see you are motivated to do).
While there are some medicines which may help your condition, it is most likely that a combination of medication (non-habit forming) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) would be most helpful.
I wish you well.

--Ron Fisher, M.D.
State College, PA

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