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Children's Mental Health: Phobias
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My two-year-old girl is extremely anxious and fearful any time something has to go down the drain. I cannot do the dishes in front of her and I cannot give her a bath in the bathtub. We haven't been trying to toilet train her, so that couldn't be it. I think a catalyst may have been at daycare when she witnessed another child's toothbrush becoming lodged in the drain. She became very upset over that. Just today she collapsed in a fit of tears while I was washing broccoli in the sink. Your help would be greatly appreciated.
Signed,
Going down the drain!
A: Going down the drain. It is possible that your child has a "simple phobia." I would suggest you consult with a professional who could make an accurate diagnosis. In the meantime, let me give you some information that might be helpful in understanding childhood fears and phobias. All children have fears, to one degree or another. This is especially true of young children up to the age of five or six years. The reason is that developmentally they do not fully understand the difference between fantasy and reality. Therefore, if the toothbrush or broccoli can go down the drain, in her mind, so could she or you. The difference between a normal fear and a phobia is the severity of the problem. Most parents are able to coax children to approach a feared object, praise them for their efforts, and demonstrate that the fear is unnecessary.
When these efforts are unsuccessful or the child's reaction begins to hamper his or her ability to function normally, then the child may be suffering from a simple phobia. A simple phobia is the prescence of excessive anxiety or avoidance of a feared object, event, or situation. Only two to four percent of all children have this mental health diagnosis as the majority of children "grow out" of it with positive reinforcement from parents. Because of your child's young age, I would be patient and continue to work with her. Be aware of any reinforcement that you might be giving your child, for the behavior, through verbal or nonverbal behavior. Have a friend observe you to see if you are doing anything, unknowingly, to perpetuate the problem.
Gradually expose your child to the drain. Start off with small things going down the drain or short periods of time near it and build up to bigger and longer periods. Talk about the drain away from the actual object and model calm, nonfearful behavior. If this does not help, please consult with a professional.
Blessings,
Ron Huxley, LMFT
Written by the Family Engineers (Experts) at the ParentingToolbox.com
Ron Huxley is a licensed child and family therapist and the founder of the ParentingToolbox.com. He is also the author of the book "Love and Limits: Achieving a Balance in Parenting" and the audiotape "Dealing with your child's A.N.G.E.R." You can contact him for interviews and seminars at rehuxley@parentingtoolbox.com or http://parentingtoolbox.com/ron.html
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