Ten Tools for Excellence, In The 21st Century

1. Persistence

Samuel Clemens (also known as Mark Twain) once said that persistence is 99 percent perspiration and one percent inspiration. The difference here is the willingness to do the work versus the fantasy of omnipotent endowment. If you want to learn more about how to become persistent in the new millenium, please go to http://psybersquare.com/me/gym.html

2.The Capacity to Dream

If you're really motivated, you can will answers to life's dilemmas through your dreams. Our unconscious minds are much smarter than we are in our waking hours. My computer consultant was once stumped by a problem with my computer. He dreamt the answer!

3. The Ability to Nourish Ourselves and Others

The ultimate parental challenge! Use that red pencil of yours to circle and highlight everything you do that's right. It's as simple as praising your dog when he toilets on the street and ignoring him when he has an accident on your priceless Persian rug. This activity goes on (hopefully) in every therapist's office, employee evaluation session, and classroom in this country. If you would like to learn more, please go to http://psybersquare.com/family/red.html

4. Competitiveness with Self

With the willingness and determination to compete with yourself on whatever the task of your choice, you will get better and better all the time. This means a real disregard of that old narcissistic need for applause, adoration, and worship. If you want to work further on your self esteem, please go to http://psybersquare.com/me/selfesteem.html

5. The Ability to Love

Freud said that the reason for his phenomenal success was that his mother was madly in love with him. Parental love is a key element in fostering amazing accomplishments in children. It also translates to self love; adults can learn to parent themselves accordingly. For an interactive and informative exercise on increasing your self love, http://psybersquare.com/me/graveyard.html

6. Integrity

In the frenetic 90's, achievement and accomplishment become so much a matter of panic that we often overlook the basic values of integrity and honesty. Extraordinary people never take shortcuts and will not compromise on their personal belief systems. When an extraordinary achiever wants to create his or her vision, compromise and dishonesty are out of the picture.

7. Gratitude

Those who cannot achieve are burdened by envy; those who achieve feel tremendous gratitude for that which they've been endowed. The great British psychoanalyst Melanie Klein was the first to look at this dynamic. People who get swallowed up by the "Green Monster" remain unable to achieve and excel; they slowly rot with self pity, resentment, and feelings of deprivation. People who can emulate those they envy achieve their goals. The philosophy of PSYbersquare encompasses a great emphasis on gratitude. If you want to work actively on a gratitude list, please go to, http://psybersquare.com/me/gratitude.html
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8. Aspiration

You can learn a great deal about yourself if you look at your aspirations. Children whose
aspirations are encouraged, supported, and nurtured are confident in achieving their goals. Children who hear statements like, "You could never achieve that," or "You're not smart enough to achieve that," soon give up on reaching their goals and even forget to what they've aspired.

9. The Ability to Give

People who are motivated to achieve do not succeed when motivated by money, power, fame and glory. All those elements help and I for one don't disavow any of them. However, the artist, scientist, businessman, politician, writer, doctor who truly feels great about his or her achievements focuses on giving back to the world. It is the finest motivator and a quality we find in any one of impressive achievement.

10. Focus

Those who succeed in their aspirations and reach their goals do so with blinders on. While great achievers tend to have a generalist's hunger for knowledge and a curiosity for all that's happening in the world, they also possess a narrowness of focus when they set themselves a task and are determined to achieve a goal.


All of us who've survived into the 21st Century are exceptional, whether we know it or not. We each possess the above listed twelve characteristics in some measure. Our job in the millenium is to nurture these qualities toward developing excellence in our lives and our recoveries.

National Tragedy Special Section